I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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