Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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