Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
