I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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