butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
