Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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