fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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