I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
