To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Randomize
