Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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