I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
