I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
