My friends, they love my intelligence
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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