It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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