if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize