I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
