Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
