if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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