Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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