if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
