Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
