OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
