none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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