I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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