He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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