I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
