my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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