but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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