Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize