so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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