Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
