I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
