put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize