brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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