Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
