So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
