the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
