just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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