Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
