dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
