wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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