hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
