HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
