If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
