the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
