Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize