we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
