and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
