YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
