Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
