just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
