when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
