how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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