If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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