The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
