I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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