Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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