I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
