She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
